It's been a while since my last post and a lot has happened in the past month, so much so that I did not even have time during the musculoskeletal block to post anything. The unit was 4 weeks long- we learned about skin, connective tissue, bones, and muscles. I was so excited to start this unit - I'm fascinated by the movement of muscles and I don't know why but I just really like bones- the development, and structures are all straight forward. With all that said, this unit did not go well for me. My interest in the subject matter wasn't the problem- it was a combination of things: the pace was crazy with back to back anatomy sessions, physical exam sessions, and preceptorship which is our once a week visits with a physician in the community. I felt like I was trying to keep my head above water the entire time.
I started this blog to give people a glimpse into my journey- if I don't tell you guys about the tough times I'm not helping anyone, including myself. I had a breakdown where I felt like I couldn't do it and medicine might not be the right choice for me. You probably won't see me share about my grades on here after this, but I BOMBED the 2nd exam- didn't even have any more tears left to shed when I saw the grade. Sharing all of this with the world (aka anyone that cares to read my blog) is not to dissuade anyone from going into medicine, but to be truthful and open about my story. Med school is HARD and it wont get any easier. If I didn't have my support system- friends, family, boyfriend, my academic advisor I could have let a bad experience set the tone for the rest of this year. When I finally took a moment to relax I realized that one bad test will not define me. Learning the material to best of my ability and my interactions with patients and their families is what really matters at the end of the day. Of course, you want to do well on exams, but sometimes things happen- family issues, car problems, you get sick- you have to accept it, do the best you can, and do better next time.
I'm so thankful I have awesome friends who supported me when I was over it and wanted to give up and for random trips to Applebee's after anatomy lab!
Not everything was bad: I thought I failed the practical when I walked out and ended up doing really well! I celebrated Valentine's day with my friends and boyfriend over the weekend, and saw Black Panther with SNMA and left feeling inspired and motivated.
Overall, the stress anxiety and self doubt tried to get me down, but I refuse to let that happen during the next block. I was reminded of the importance of taking care of myself (going back to my 2018 goals): exercise, mental breaks, a reasonable amount of caffeine, and eating healthy (most of the time).
We are one week into the cardiovascular block! I've heard good things about it but, we'll see how I feel after the first exam! Also, thanks to everyone that takes time to read my blog. I haven't even looked it in since my last post and was so surprised to see how many views I'd had in that time off!
Thanks for reading. Wakanda forever. ;)